If the only Iron Man movie you've seen is the first one that I totally understand why you don't like Tony. I didn't like him then either. He's self-centered and unaffected by other people and what their needs/wants are. He believes that he is invincible and powerful and basically owns the world. When we really start to see him develop as a character though is in the second film. Spoiler alert, Tony almost dies. He ends up having to rediscover a new element on the periodic table to save himself. What makes this film so great though is his character changes as the story progresses. He suddenly starts caring about other people, mainly Pepper. Yes he becomes more of a self centered jerk, but you could make the argument that it was an act to hide his fear. Knowing this helps us interpret his previous behavior as well. Tony is lonely and scared but due to his upbringing he doesn't feel like he can show that to others. He has to keep it to himself and deal with it on his own, but in IM2 that shell begins to crack as he is faced with his own mortality. His development goes even further in The Avengers and the biggest change coming in Iron Man 3. Yes Tony is still cocky and rich, but he has changed and developed as a character and isn't the same person as he was in the beginning of the story. The proof of this lies in Age of Ultron. Wanda shows Tony a vision that will consume and destroy him and eventually leads him to create the ever boring villain Ultron. The vision she shows him is of everyone he cares about dead lying in a pile, and it was all his fault. This vision consumes him and almost does lead to his self destruction. If Wanda had showed him this during the first film, or even the second film for the matter, it would not effected him the same way it does later. It may have upset him a bit but it would not have consumed him the way it does in Ultron. Tony has undergone significant character development and is not the same person he was in earlier films.And quickly for those who think his power is his money. Shut up and actually think about the things Tony has done. His whole story starts off with him creating this technology in a cave with nothing but scrap metal. When everyone believes Tony is dead in IM3 he has little to no access to his millions of dollars. He still manages to create and design weapons which he uses to save dozens of people and catch the "Mandarin". Bruce Wayne's super power is his money, Tony Stark's super power is his brain. This man creates all of his ideas and designs himself, after coming up with them himself. In the Avengers he is asked "when did you became an expert in thermonuclear astrophysics" to which he replies "last night". I don't don't doubt for one minute that Tony was up all night reading about this incredibly difficult stuff and understood it perfectly. Tony is a certified genius who just so happens to have money as well. Does it help him in the creation of his suits, absolutely yes. But when he doesn't have his money it doesn't stop him. He is still able to create his inventions and they still work perfectly. Tony Stark's superpower is his brain and no one can take that away from him or hinder him. Super man can't even compete with that.
photo credit: http://ironman.wikia.com/wiki/Tony_Stark_(film)
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